Not much help, but some sad humor...
Submitted by d on June 24 2001 22:28:15
In reply to Hello submitted by Ben on June 23 2001 19:55:46
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Hi Ben, welcome back. I'm glad you are staying involved in the Church. Just don't do what one man in the US did: "If your right hand offends you, cut it off." Let's just say his pants got a little bloody due to a self-administered amputation.. I think he got psychological help after that (probably not voluntary). OK, that's morbit humor. Seriously, when it comes to things like lusting, looking, and masturbation, I think (and this is MY personal opinion) is to ask: 1) is it interfering with your relationship with God? 2) is it interfering with your relationship with your spouse or significant other, or would it if he/she knew? (not applicable in your case, I think) 3) is it a bad witness, or would it be if it was well-known (this varies by local custom - for example, taking a mistress was 'acceptable' in parts of Europe in the past, as long as it was a short-term relationship AND the man's wife gave tacit approval). 4) does it interfere with your relationship with the church body or society in general or does it hurt either (I'm guessing the lusting part is actually improving your relationship with society because it motivates you to get involved in youth activities). Each person will have to address these on their own terms. For some people, masturbating is good for them and society, for others, it is bad, and still others it has mixed results or no impact at all. Ditto "looking" or being lustful. I've been known to masturbate before I'm going to be with people I might lust after in my head or in my groin, just to "clear my hormones" for a day. This works for me, but for others, it may have the opposite effect. Another thing that takes my mind off of lust is staying busy. If I were in your shoes, if I was supervising boys, staying on task (whatever that is - tutoring, coaching, listening to them talk, whatever) rather than paying attention to their bodies would help me a lot. Then again, you may "need" to be looking at them to keep your motivation. Only you (and God) know. Bottom line: Only you can know for sure if masturbation and lusting after boys is either bad (or good) in an earthly sense and/or a sin (something that separates you from God). Don't let someone else* tell you how to read certain Bible passages - read them yourself using many translations and pray about it. When you discern God's will in your life, act accordingly. *Exception - some people have the God-given gift of discernment. If you recognize someone with this gift, talk to them and take their advice to heart. Such people aren't right 100% of the time, but they are more gifted in discerning God's will than the rest of us. I didn't offer a solution, but I hope I shed some light on your situation. -d, d_fpc@operamail.com, david |
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