Did we choose to be BLs?
Submitted by Forgiven on July 29 2001 06:52:21
In reply to boylove girlove anylove submitted by Massive Attack Angel on July 23 2001 00:46:25
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Please listen to what I say - and not what you may think I'm saying. I am VERY aware that I am touching on a highly painful issue, but it is one that we need to look at, and respond to rationally.... We are committed to a God of truth and in truth is our freedom, however painful that truth may be. I've been mulling the argument over for a few months now, but this post offers an interestingly explicit description of the process of choice. Looking back for me, I would say that I probably started off 'vanilla' gay, but circumstances led me down a path, at the age of 14 - 18 where my only significant relationships were with boys that bit younger - and tended to stay at that age - the older ones fading out of my life and being replaced by younger. By the end of High School years, I could identify the ones who at 13 would be fun to get to know the next year (before they were 14 somehow it just didn't work). Not that those relationships were sexualised outwardly, but there was a lot of fantasising going on.... And I believe in the decision to fantasise in that direction that I made a choice. Of course it's not a reversible choice - once you've started to see boys as to some extent sex objects (ouch) it is unlikely that that awareness will ever disappear completely. That of course is something which the wider world would struggle to understand - there will be a strong implication in the word 'choice' that it is something that we can reverse, and so to admit to the truth of our having made a choice is likely to encourage the bigots in some of their attitudes. And yet we need to try to be honest with ourselves if we are understand how we got to be as we are; and of course there is a policy issue in terms of how young teenagers' sex education should be directed. And somewhere along the line this does open us up to the argument that active harassment of BLs, by discouraging boys from indulging in this sort of direction in their fantasies, becomes a valid thing to do.... Well - the board has been quiet for the last few days - perhaps this will stir up some responses! |
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