when the boy you like becomes a man
Submitted by Splash! on August 12 2001 01:17:57
In reply to Yeah, why? submitted by Nate on August 12 2001 00:39:45
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but the emotional attraction remains into adulthood. I guess it is because I have "seen 'em naked" in the emotional sense. I know that there is a real, vulnerable, caring person in that adult body. One of my YFs is now into his 20s and another is almost 18. I knew both of them since they were 10 years old or younger. They now act very different, no thanks to all the influences of the day. But when I talk to either one of them, they can't help but be honest with me. When I look in their eyes, it's like I can see right through them, because I know who they really are inside, and they know I know them. They can't hide under the facade they have now built around themselves. I can see right past it. Any encouragement or words of advice I give to them, they take very seriously -- whereas if someone else said the same things they'd probably laugh it off. But they know I'm speaking directly to that part inside them who is at the core of their being. No matter who they grow up to be, they still ARE that person who once made himself totally open and vulnerable to me, once letting me know and see how they "tick" inside. I've already got them figured out -- I was there in the beginning -- and they know it. They can't hide and act tough around me now. They know I can see right past it and into who they REALLY are. One of the the excuses I use when I tell people why I like kids more than adults is because kids are honest and they don't have hidden agendas (well, ones that can't be easily figured out anyway). I feel like I have more control in my relationships with kids (make sense, right?) -- not only because I am the adult but because I feel I can trust them since they are vulnerable to me and I am able to truly know them for who they are. As people grow up, they start to hide. They get hurt and don't want to be vulnerable to others. They can't afford to be honest with most people or they'll be taken advantage of. They have to build up a defense to protect who they really are inside. Plus, some of them learn that this new "mask" will help them get what they want -- help them achieve things for themselves or become more successful than others by not allowing others to figure them out and abuse them. There's all kinds of reasons why young people seemingly turn into someone else. I guess this is why I find myself still attracted (not necessarily in a sexual-sense) to adults who I once knew as boys. I still feel safe around them, and I still feel like I have control since I know I can speak to the core of who they are, when/if I need to. This is another reason why it's important for boys to have older mentors as they grow up -- mentors who will continue to be there for them when the boy becomes a man. Splash |
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