Courage or Cowardice in a Relationship?
Submitted by Altima on September 6 2001 18:36:56
In reply to A quote from one of the Narnia books..... submitted by Forgiven on September 5 2001 16:12:16
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So far, whenever I have been faced with what could be a meaningful and long lasting friendship/relationship, I run. I try to distance myself. Usually it is because I have developed a fear of others my age, how they pass judgement so quickly. How they are so filled with hatred and spite toward non-conformists, accusing any non conformist of being gay (as if that were necessarily bad, it's just the baggage that comes with the label is always, always the hard part) I wasn't always like this, even though it seems that others my age were aways just as nasty, but it was different then. I felt more confident in my moral superiority when I was younger, I would stand up to people without fear because I knew I could talk anyone down, and that would be all that was required. But now they don't listen to talking. They listen to fists, well, perhaps that's a bit unfair, but they usually listen to the sadistic laughter of their buddies than anything else. I know my answer seems to concern a situation different from what 90% of you face, and I'm sorry, but I just thought I was being a bit too quiet lately :) I'm trying to get a fresh start at this school. Due to it's small size, it hasn't ceased to surprise me. Teachers who don't even teach any of my classes call me by my name, and the principal checks up on me a lot. I'm only one of about 3 new people in the entire school. Odd doesn't begin to describe how I feel sometimes there. But due to that, it seems some of the barriers that exist between years in the larger schools never materialised here. Like, I have made friends with the "Head Boy", a 6th year student who basically represents the student body (or something like that, I haven't been in this system long enough) who is a few years older than me and dashingly handsome. And I have befriended a most interesting (and very, very cute) English student my age (perhaps younger) who has a passing interest i theivery, and the interesting thing is that whenever he steals something through some rather clever scheme, he always manages to return the item. Whether or not he lets the owner of the item know is up to him. I know the fact that I have described people like this in a post is unusual for me. Perhaps it's just me admitting further how I feel. Or perhaps it's just my first experiance in an all boys school having it's effect on me. |
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