to what extent must it be prevented?
Submitted by ender3306 on November 30 2001 22:54:33
In reply to How do you prevent idolizing your YF? submitted by Tigris on November 30 2001 18:32:16
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Just to play the devil's advocate.... (on second thought, thats a phrase that probably won't go to well around here) :-) Ok well anyway... I hope I don't offend anyone by saying this, but while I have some major problems with crossing "the line" witha YF, I do believe that legimimate love can exist between a boy and an adult. If the love is primarily fron the adult side, it is infatuation. If this love is returned, it can be more generally called true love. I've been lucky enough to experience both these kinds of relationships with a boy. And is this wrong? It is natural that you would become infatuated with an object of your desire. I don't believe that I can ever change my feelings... I can however choose NOT to act on them in a way that would be immoral or unfaithful. But I DO acknowledge the fact that I am in love with my YF... and this isn't something I feel I need to prevent. Moving on however, its clear that idolizing a YF can not always be a positive experience, especially when, as always, you have to think of other things. I think BLs tend to cling to their relationships more strongly that non-BLs, simply because our opportunities are so limited, sacred, and rare. This is why we latch on and do not let go... nevertheless, equating it to a regular heterosexual relationship can help.. if you acknowledge that both of you need your space for the relationship to remain healthy than you can rationalize taking your mind off him for a period of time. Do I idolize my YF? Sure do... why? Because I love him, I love everything about him, and the person he is and the person he will become are both very important to me. The important thing is to keep things in check, and remember that one relationship does not a life make... and the world keeps turning, and life, God, friends and enemies continue to be a factor with or without your YF in your life. Balance is a learned trait, and none of us can really be expected to get it exactly right... but your faith and your presence here can help you in that regard. Good luck, Ender |
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