Re: Be Careful What You Ask For
Submitted by Dakota on January 4 2002 14:14:24
In reply to Be Careful What You Ask For submitted by Ben on January 4 2002 07:07:10
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I don't kow if my opinion will hold much weight because I've never been married. All I can do is tell you what I would consider doing in your position. First of all, I would not marry her without having a long talk. If you enter into the marriage with her thinking everything is "normal", you will be deceiving her which is not fair. How much you disclose is the big question. I assume from your post that you have not been sexual with her. I commend you for following scripture in an area that a lot of Christians do not. The very least I would discuss with her is that you think you may have problems becoming aroused, assuring her that it isn't because you don't find her attractive. You don't have to be a pedophile to have trouble getting aroused. Telling her this would at least prepare her for the possibility and also you could discuss how important sex is to her. You should also consider telling her the whole truth. This would be ideal if she was understanding about it. With her knowing everything and still loving you would be an awesome marriage. But as is often the case, the possibility for great rewards also carries great risk. I don't need to tell you that she may not be so understanding. So all I can suggest is that you pray and fast some more and wait for God to lead you. That sounds so simplistic and yet so hard to do. I have been in situations where I have waited and waited for God's leading, only for it never to come, or if it did come, I didn't recognize it. But there are so many land mines in your situation, that I don't know what else you can do. Dakota |
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