Re: It is happening today
Submitted by Ben on January 22 2002 08:04:15
In reply to It is happening today submitted by Nate on January 20 2002 15:30:01
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Nate, My church is very much like yours, it sounds like, with respect to the atmosphere and a wholehearted call to discipleship (along with a well balance understanding of grace as well!). I have labored over whether or not I would openly confess my attraction to boys a number of times and I decided against it, exactly for the reasons that you came across. I believe that our society (with the exception of a few) does not have a clear understanding of pedophilia. This is primarily because the exposure to pedophilia has been pretty limited to those who have been 'caught' and hit the media screens. This meant that their offense was likely something unspeakable, such as the New England priest John Gagan (sp?) who is accused of molesting hundreds of catholic boys. Those who have not committed such offenses therefore, like you and I, are rarely learned about. I don't think that it is likely that this will change because I think that the time and energy needed to learn about it is not worthwhile for most people. They just want to protect their families, and I don't fault them for that. I remember a movement afoot in BC a few years ago to become the public voice for boylove, as NAMBLA tried to do. Clearly, NAMBLA fell miserably. The huge disparity between societies understanding of pedophilia and ours, will probably result in there never really being a comfortable place for boylovers in mainsteam society (as outed boylovers). Amen for the exceptions. Because I knew that I would never molest a boy, and because I feel comfortable before God that this is so, I felt it best to keep my boylove information limited to those who had an understanding of it. The bible does talk about openness and confession, so you might wonder how I have reconciled this. Here is how: - I have been open about my life here. As I consider there to be brothers here and I consider this to be a fellowship of believers, I think it appropriate that this forum be a place where I am open about my life. - I have confessed a problem with pornography within my church. The subject matter of that problem (ie - boys in swimwear or on the beach, or even in modeling catalogues) is not material in church. The issue is that I am enslaved by masturbation, that I am confessing it, and that I am working on it. - I have been completely open with a number of people in RL, some BC'ers, and a psychologist from when I was in HS (though he wasn't alot of help). I do not at all look down upon your decision. In fact, I admire you for your courage and I reject any attitude that your church has of avoiding you. Biblical forgiveness must cross all barriers. After all, if they cannot forgive you in their hearts, how can they expect God to forgive them? Maybe it's time for another church. In any case, you have a place here my friend, you are loved and accepted. And you are forgiven. Amen. You are not alone. Love, Ben |
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