Digging deep into my memory
Submitted by Jules on January 27 2002 13:14:50
In reply to turning out fine submitted by Splash! on January 27 2002 03:32:05
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Hi Splash!, You've set me thinking now about what I would have been thinking about if I have been masturbating at a young age. (See my previous post below for a guess at why I wasn't.) I can remember from the age of about 6 or 7 having that very strong feeling of yearning or longing for another boy, which now I would call sexual, and know can be relieved by orgasm. At that age I didn't think of it as a sexual feeling, although I might have called it 'love'. But I suppose if I had known the enjoyment of masturbation I would have known that feeling to be related to genital release. The question is whether masturbating, thinking about this boy, would have done me any harm. I can't think that it would. I would have been thinking about his cute face, and finding that the genital feeling was nice at the same time. That would have linked 'love' with 'genitals', but that link was going to come some time or other. As for the thought that masturbating at that age would have fixed my sexual attraction on boys, I can't comment, because my attraction was fixed on boys anyway, without masturbating about it! So, what is it that makes a "homosexual" boy heterosexual? And/or what is it that causes a boy to no longer be interested in fantasizing about or "playing with" other boys? Whatever it is, it didn't seem to happen with most of us BLs. I think one of the things that might have made a different for me, and helped my find an interest in girls as well, was greater freedom about sexual matters generally, rather than it being a taboo subject. Less shame at being naked, less embarassment, and so on. I'm fairly sure of this, because this is what has happened to me much more recently, in my early thirties. Deciding not to be ashamed of being a sexual being, and deciding that it's ok to be naked. All these things have recently helped me to ease up about sex, and I've discovered one result of this has been a growing interest in young women alongside my interest in boys. (But note it's alongside rather than instead of.) With Christian love, Jules |
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