God makes us tick
Submitted by Bach on February 2 2002 12:32:09
In reply to What makes me tick submitted by Ben on February 2 2002 07:33:03
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Hi Ben, Yes, the attraction to boys makes us do many things. I think the important thing (as I said in my "Struggles" post) is to give glory to God. If we are letting our lustful desires control our life, instead of placing God first, then yes, there is a problem. At the time of your discovery of the twins and the Christian family that had such an impact on your life I wondered about how to discern what was God working through other people, and what was desire that we justify away by any means at our disposal. When I read of your intense desire to be married with a family, a part of me understands very well, because I wish that I could have a family and raise kids myself. But the fact is, I know that God does not call me in this direction. For me, marrying a woman would be a major mistake that could only lead to heartbreak and hardship on both our parts. If we accept that boys turn us on, that boys "make us tick", that our sexuality is markedly different from most of our Christian brothers and sisters, what does that mean for how God is working in our lives? Because I have built my life on my desires and that is all that makes me tick. You made a choice to follow Christ. Is Christ not the rock on which you have built your life? Does Christ not live in your relationships with boys? Is Christ not present and capable of bringing light to your loneliness? I work on understanding my lust and idolatry of boys, as I come to understand my addiction to fantasy and masturbation, I have come to realize that my motivation in life to do just about anything is on the chopping block. I too struggle with lust, as does every Christian. I seek understanding about art, beauty, nudity and what is healthy, what is harmful. What God would see as life-giving, and what He sees as a destructive force. What is a work of art; what is pornographic? Where is the line on objectification? These are issues that I am trying to discern and articulate. I hope to be able to have enough questions on this topic for a post in the near future. :) When you talk about your life impacting others - does it not impact those in your faith community? Is there not an intimate relationship with other Christians? Do you not feel that you have bonded with others in the Christian community who might be part of a larger "family of God"? The nuclear family is not the only form of accountable, loving relationships. Maybe you should reflect on how you could develop an authentic, mutually accountable relationship with another Christian. (man or woman) But, of course, I only know about what you post here - perhaps the woman friend you were seeing is already this kind of relationship. Peace of Christ, Bach |
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