Perhaps I can relate to her
Submitted by d on April 2 2002 14:12:56
In reply to My girlfriend submitted by Ben on April 2 2002 07:02:13
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First and formost, pray without ceasing. Having said that... I may be able to understand your girlfriend's situation, but I'd rather not discuss it in public (catch me on Lifeline then we can talk on CBF chat or in pvt. there - I'm usually flutter in and out between about 0000 and 0600 UTC any day and on Saturday 1300-0600. Actually, I think I've told you my story. The long and the short of it is this - you will have to be true to yourself and to her. Talk to a marraige counselor. Tell her you love her like a sister (which seems to be the truth) but you don't have a passion for her body. It may be that after she accepts that she will want to marry you anyways, sans sex (or a minimal amount), or that she will want to be best friends. The one thing I recommend against is marrying her without telling her you aren't sexually interested in her. One compromise: Tell her you love her heart but not her body, but that you will do your best to fake it because you love her. Granted, you may not be able to actually go to bed with her, but you can pleasure her with your hands once a month or so, and that may be enough, especially if she knows you are doing it for her sake, and that it is a sacrifice for you. BTW, many people's (men's and women's) libido goes down and keeps going down after 30. For many women, there's a sharp dropoff after menopause, which is OK because quite a few men that age don't work without Viagra. If she knows this, and knows that you will be her soul-mate for life with or without sex, it may help. Consider telling her this, then popping the question and giving her time to think about it. But make it clear that you won't be able to perform and/or enjoy it before she answers. |
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