you are not alone

i understand, totally. sometimes i think i should've taken the selfish abuse of my ex-girlfriend and stayed with her so i could at least appear normal to the rest of society. we "looked" good together. and i did love her even if she was using me for her own advancement. at least my friends and family would stop wondering why i am still single. but on the other hand, i am able to accomplish A LOT of things because i'm NOT tied to anyone's strings. and like you, i take a look at myself, and often get disgusted that so much of my time from being single is spent catching various moments of times with various boys and wondering why i do that... why i think that... go out of my way to see that.... to be that... to need that...??? well, you know. and then i know... He knows. it's then that i try to get closer to God. i really am most happiest... er, most happy when i'm in a good relationship with God... where He and I can speak freely, continually, hourly, with each other. just He and I... and from that perspective everything becomes much clearer... from that perspective my view is blessed. God bless you, Ben. I'll keep you in my prayers... as I do all of you. Peace. Psalm 1