My experiences
Submitted by Muddyfox72 on 2002-06-19 08:46:30, Wednesday
In reply to Shattered Dreams submitted by Ben on 2002-06-18 20:46:48, Tuesday
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Hi, I'm a 30yo Christian going on 12yo myself. I've always found company with boys due to my own experiences in childhood. I was bullied, never fought back & even picked on by girls. When I reached 15 I made friends with a group of 11yo's not from my area & there the work began. I went down several roads, some good some bad & made friends with boys off all ages. There was suspision about me from day 1, because of the age difference (17yo hangins around with 8 & 9yo), but certain parents were comfortable with it & so was I. I was baptized by the spirit & later by total emersion at the age of 19 (I think), then the real feeling of love & affection slowly started to come out. I've helped many boys with problems in their lives over the years & had some pretty close friendships that tested my faith to the limits, but The Lord has helped me through them. As for sexual feelings, I never let the boys know what my body was doing while I was with them & dealt with the urges in the best & private way. The biggest test of my life is at the moment, where I have had a full BL friendship with a young 15yo who tried to blackmail me to get money to pay for some debt he's not telling me about. I've kept members of another board more fully informed about this & am very worried about my future & his. Everything I've done with him has been at his request, but that those actions are probably coming back to haunt me now. It's possible that the enemy lured me into a false sense of security with this boy & now he's turned on him to use it against me. I pray every night about him & slowly were are reaching the half-way point with this problem & will soon see light at the end of the tunnel. I have always supressed my sexual feelings & given boys my full respect & love to all those who'd accept it from me. I can't condemn anyone who struggles with their feelings, because I know what they're going through. There's nothing I like more myself, than being in the company of boys, whether it be playing football, wrestling or just watching tv. The Lord has blessed me with a female partner & her family (4 boys, most of who have grown up). I took work away from home, because our relationship was crumbling, but she's still very much attached to me (but any knowledge of being a BL would certainly end our relationship). The boy with whom I'm having problems with I call Ginger, we've known each other for over 5 years & is a friend of my partner & her kids. He also has two brothers, one older, one younger, who I also have a close relationship with, but in different ways. Ginger is in need of prayer from anyone who can help & me as well during this time. Thanks to all & hang in their Ben (look forward to hearing more from you). Best regards Muddyfox72 |
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