echos of boys past
Submitted by F.O.D. on 2002-07-8 23:10:41, Monday
In reply to Re: yeah, but why, dakota submitted by Dakota on 2002-07-8 22:27:21, Monday
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I think I was pretending he was a boy from my past whom I did love. But I'm just speculating. I'm really not sure. It's interesting you should mention that. I've had opportunity for some kind of personal contact with another young adult from time to time, but in truth it's been empty, pointless every time. I never loved him, he mever loved me. But only one time I look back and remember a time when I kissed a young man, and the memory of that kiss rocks me even today. Not because he meant anything more to me really than any other dickhead out there, but because he was the spitting image of a young friend I had known years early. He looked just like my YF would have looked at that stage of life (early 20s). So to kiss him, it was as if I was kissing my YF. That made it feel special. But still false, I guess. I don't know what else to say about your experience, except to say don't get into despair over it. Pick yourself up, and keep moving forward. We might say it's not God's will to do that sort of thing. Be that as it may, I have a feeling that nevertheless God understands. His compassion is deep. Fod |
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