I'm not sure what I was looking for. Maybe just being close to another human being. I understand how hard it can be to separate love for a boy from sexual contact. But even consensual sexual contact can really confuse a boy. That's why I've committed myself to refraining from it. Maybe I just saw this as a chance to fulfill my desires without the fear of messing up a kid's head. But it was all artificial, since I certainly didn't love this young man. I think I was pretending he was a boy from my past whom I did love. But I'm just speculating. I'm really not sure. Dakota |