Re: To be fair
Submitted by innocence is bliss on 2002-07-9 00:15:51, Tuesday
In reply to Re: To be fair submitted by Splash! on 2002-07-8 21:55:18, Monday
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I disagree, I mean I am a boylover also, I don't advertise it, but by the same token, I'm damn if I will live my life worrying about what others might do or say. I am attracted to boys, big deal! Someone once challanged me on that, after noticing that my eye's were wondering in the direction of "every" boy that walked past and asked me if I was gay. I said "why?" he replied: "Because I've been noticing you looking at almost every guy, young and old who walks passed". This lead to a frank discussion about sexuality and to cut a long story short he asked if I was a paedophile! I said NO! (although, that was obviously a lie)but did find the courage to say that, I do find some boys attractive. My friends initial reaction was one of shock "So you are a f#@!ing paedophile" he said. "Well, if you define anyone who finds boys attractive a Paedophile, then yes, I guess I am. But, let me ask you a question, be honest with me ... do you ever see a boy, say someone playing in the park or swiming at the beach ... and you notice that the boy is attractive. He may have beautiful blue eyes, maybe a delightful smile or just that "something special" that makes him "stand out" ? He paused a minute and said "well, I guess to some extent after all, some children are just so adorable aren't they ... but Im NO PAEDOPHILE!!!" "Relax, no one is suggesting that you are, but my question was simple, I just wanted to show you that "normal" everyday, married, single, staright, gay .. men & women do on occasions see a child and can't help but to feel "drawn" to them. Thats the case with me". Silence, then " well, I guess I see what you are saying, but if your talking about being turned on by boys and fantasing about them .... your a sick bastards!" I wont go on, but in the end I did manage to maje my friend see that, just because I find some kids attractive and cute, as most people do. That doesn't make me a "sick bastard". I use to be afraid of hugging boys especially in public, I use to be afraid of talking to kids in public. (To be honest, sometimes I still am) But one thing I have noticed is this, when you start worrying about others being suspiscious of you, thats when you tend to be at your most vulnerable. And by trying not to "give yourself up" 9 out of 10 times, you do just that! If someone wants a hug from me, I'll give it to them regardless of their age. If a 7 year old boy comes runningtowards me with arms stretched out and asks for a hug. Im not going to push him away, to hell with that! By the same token, Im not going to hug him "for hours" and slowly, gently, slide my hand down his back til I reach his butt and squeeze it LOL! I'm not going to hug him and purposefully, rub myself against him or willfully, fantasise about him while he is in my arms, get what Im saying? Don't concern yourself with what others may say or think, concern yourself with what God says and thinks. "It is sad, but for a boylover it's life" it doesn't have to be, so long as you remain true to yourself and to God. And rely on him to pull you through those times of testing. So long as you can take responsibility for your actions and can tell the difference between wrong and right, legal and illegal, then whats the problem? Loving boys is normal, there is nothing wrong with being attracted to some boys, God has given us the ability to appreciate beauty and some boys are just plain beautiful. Don't condemn yourself (Like I use to do for so many years) it isn't worth the heartache. Obviously, dwelling upon that attraction, entertaining the thoughts that come with that attraction is a different story. And opens up a whole can of worms. But really, I think your putting unfair unfair and undue pressure upon your life. |
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