.
Submitted by Splash! on 2002-07-10 03:00:31, Wednesday
| When I was in middle school, I remember wishing I had a boy friend who I could talk to about "things" such as, "Did you see Mark's butt in those jeans today? Isn't he hot?" Or someone I could talk with about certain boy actors and what I *really* felt about them. I hoped I could find a friend who would talk back to me the same way; I guess, much like what girls do at their slumber parties. But I never found such a friend. My girlfriend was the most popular girl at school, and she was a fox! -- how could I be thinking of boys? I wanted to find someone like me... someone who understood... someone who would tell me that I wasn't alone. But what if? What if I would've found that person when I was barely just a teen? What direction would my life had gone? And today, now that there is a place (like BoyChat) with many people like me... why am I not interested in talking about those types of things? A part of me would love to talk about Aaron, Keegan, Erik, Jesse, and countless others, but an even greater part of me says this is wrong. A part of me would love to collect videos and pictures of all these beautiful boys, but an even greater part of me tells me it's wrong. A part of me would love to go on and on about my YF who was the best-looking most-intelligent boy I'd ever seen, but another part of me sees it as sad to hold onto these feelings when it's been almost four years since the two of us shared a real good time together. Do you ever get the feeling that maybe you shouldn't be watching certain boy shows, listening to certain boy music, reminiscing about certain boy moments, etc? If we do, in what direction will our lives go? If we don't, will it be any better? Maybe I shouldn't be nurturing this part of me as much as I do. Time is short, is it not? |
Follow ups: