Hi just me No I no longer feel quite like you as I am 57, but I know how you feel. You are not a freak, and you are undergoing the same temptations that many of us have or have had. You don't say how old you are, and that could well make a difference to where you are going in life. You are welcome to email me and we can correspond by email if you want. Hopefully we can be of help to one another Bill |