Re: Good touch, Bad touch
Submitted by Reason Filled on 2002-09-11 11:39:10, Wednesday
In reply to Re: Good touch, Bad touch submitted by BillBo on 2002-09-11 09:38:18, Wednesday
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too many adults have got hangups cos their dad never showed any when they were young. This is exactly my situation. Not only did my dad leave when I was 8, but he wasn't much of a dad (as far as showing love) when he was there. I find myself having to FORCE myself to show affection to kids in the presence of others. I see my dad often now, as a result of living nearby, and even when I see him with grandkids, the most affection you see out of him is a pat on the childs head, as if they were a dog. It really gets to me that I am ashamed to show affection like that. Such as when my 6yo nephew comes and sits with me and cuddles his head into my shoulder, I just kind of sit there, if others are around, whereas I would put my arm around him and snuggle back if we were alone. I'm not afraid that they might suspect anything bad if I did that in their presence, it is just that I have a inside voice that makes me feel like that is not the "masculine" thing to do (thanks to my father). Sometimes I find myself purposefully exposing myself to seeing fathers and sons where the father is affectionate. Be it at the mall, or a friends house, or in a movie. As if I'm trying to retrain myself on how a father is to act. I'm not even going to mention the similar problem I have with showing affection to the girl friends I've had (my father also didn't show much physical affection to my mother, or my step mother). And on top of all this, I get to be a BL....... dang I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. hehe |
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