Re: Good touch, Bad touch

You just told my story also. My father was not affectionate at all; though, he wasn't mean either (well not to me anyway). I love to see fathers being affectionate with their sons. I melt. I cry. How I wish I could go back to being a boy and have a father like that! I guess that's why I desire to be that man that my dad wasn't. I work around a lot of kids, and they eat up any affection or attention I give them. They follow me around just to be near me. I believe boys need that "connection" (or bonding) with older men to help them grow into healthty young men themselves. Without it, where are we left? It's almost as if we're incomplete. When someone gets me to talk about how my dad was with me, I have the hardest time holding back the tears. I hoped for something that never happened, something I can never get back. Why couldn't I have a "father"?? Yeah, it does have an affect on me and makes me more cautious about being as affectionate as I'd like to be with my nephew and other boys who like to hang around me, but knowing what I know about myself, I accept that it's probably safe that way... as long as I'm aware of it and try not to go to the other extreme of harming someone by not showing them enough "normal" affection or attention. With girlfriends, I have no problem being affectionate -- that's acceptable by society, and as long as she's for it, there's really no limit (within God's standards of course). Anyway, I've found there's many other ways to be affectionate with boys than using physical touch (hugs, pat on the shoulder, cuddling, etc). You can also show affection by listening to them, finding out what their interests and hobbies are, talk to them about those things, maybe hunt down some information (or a trinket) for them regarding their interests and give this to them. They are thrilled to know that you were thinking of them outside of the time that you usually spend with them and that you're not just putting up a front, making them think you like them. Show them somehow that you've been thinking of them during the times you're not with them. I have many "boy moments" to share regarding this. Maybe I'll share them in some future posts. Peace. I wish you the best.