Re: another thought on ginger confession
Submitted by Dakota on 2002-09-15 16:53:40, Sunday
In reply to another thought on ginger confession submitted by curter on 2002-09-15 08:13:58, Sunday
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Selfish? On the contrary. I think it would be selfish to do anything your YF wants just so he will like you and want to be around you. There have to be boundaries in any relationship. It's often very tempting to spoil a YF by giving them things all the time or always doing whatever they want. We want them to be happy and we want them to like us. And believe me, the YF will let us give them as much as we are willing to give and they will even use us if we let them. It's hard to fault them for that because it's partly human nature. But letting them do this will eventually cause them to lose respect for us. They will see it as trying to buy their affection with either money, gifts, or permissiveness. Then all we are to them are chumps instead of friends. It's hard to love someone you don't respect. So for their sake, our sake, and the sake of the frindship, there really does need to be give and take for each person, not just you give and he takes. Dakota |
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