another day another dollar
Submitted by Scott on 2002-10-24 23:20:35, Thursday
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isnt that what the world wants us to think and isnt that what we do most of the time... ...sigh... indeed i have fallen, deep into that trap... another day another dollar yet still one day closer to death and what have i accomplished today? sure maybe a web page or two... ...but that is not what i asked, and you know it all too well. who have i loved today? did i love my god today? or did i love myself? or did i love a boy? or did i love the serpent when i pretended to love a boy but really was not loving any of the above? too often i stumble and fall into the deceit of every-day-ness, of the drudgery of paying my bills and doing my work, too often do i step headlong into the pit of useless debate and semantic argumentation, when all i should do is praise god i wish i were a seraphim, and my life consisted merely of standing in His Glory and worshipping His Face... oh to be in Heaven today today today and today and to wait not a moment longer to bask in His glow but merely to BE in His presence simply to rest in His love only to lie in His arms yet cold earth surrounds me distracts me confounds me no, still i lie to myself none of that matters, none of this world truly misleads me, no not even the devil himself misleads me only do i mislead myself only do i fail myself only do i lower myself down i love My God and He loves me yet now i am making Him cry I am sure I wish it were not so and i know what it is i have to do i know how must i change my life yet i do not *sigh* another day another dollar when can i escape this trap that i have created, baited and stepped myself into and suddenly i close the jaws upon my own leg and cry to myself pitiful yet still His love embraces me when i choose to feel touch surround BE inside it if only i could choose that more often |
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