Re: A burdon relieved
Submitted by Jules on 2002-11-7 17:44:22, Thursday
In reply to A burdon relieved submitted by Oliver on 2002-11-7 01:20:39, Thursday
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Oliver, I'm sure I'm not the only one of the rest of us who is relieved that your pastor acted wisely. I pray that more of us would get pastors like that! What I was told was that it didn't mean I don't need to say hi when I see the kids or talk with them. It simply meant I need to be fed instead of feeding for a while.Now that's wonderful; it makes things so natural, none of them will think there's been anything weird going on - and that's best for their welfare! And it's so much easier than being sanctioned because of an incident, which many of us have endured. I do not intend on "getting fixed" or expecting to change my orientation. Being a BL is not a sin. Acting on it inappropriately is. I haven't gone as far as some people have, but I'm not out of the woods either.Now that is wisdom! One caution (as I said before, you probably don't need this, as you're clearly a more balanced person than I was when I had my most serious incident, but here goes anyway) - it was when I had laid down my official involvement with the youth that I ended up in trouble. I'd stepped down because I was going away to college soon, but having done so, I suppose I felt more relaxed; I no longer thought that I needed to be careful, as I was no longer "involved in ministry" - the result was that I got too close to a boy through ordinary social contact, with whom I had always controlled myself when "in ministry". The lesson for me (apart from lots of deeper lessons about my own insecurities, and why I needed a boy's attention) was that as Christians we're always in ministry, even if not officially. We're never off-duty, and that includes our duty to be careful of where our attraction could lead. Another thing that I would say from my experience is that maybe I was even more at risk after stepping down from my official ministry than before, as I was missing the contact with boys that I used to have. It was a bit like a bereavement in an over-dependent relationship. I had depended on my contact with boys for my feel-good factor in life, and I was looking to replace it. Laying down any kind of ministry is a bit like a bereavement, and might lead to a grieving process. But I celebrate with you, and pray that your time of feeding will indeed be a blessing to you. With Christian love, Jules |
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