Breaking up is hard to do
Submitted by Halo on 2002-11-14 05:58:07, Thursday
|
After posting yesterday, got persistant calls from Pichu regarding the break. I wanted to meet up & discuss it. I took my time but this is how it went. I arrived at home-town, was greated by Pichu, Brock & the 14yo from yesterday. We walked for a while & talked after dropping Brock off. Pichu got talking trying to hide words that might upset me. He said that since he met me, he hadn't been spending time with his other friends & he considered my text-message to leave him with just two options. Either to break contact completely or to continue seeing each other, which he felt would only lead to more money being extorted out of me, cause they are addicted to the machines. I felt that I didn't want to loose them completely, but suggested a rest-period rather than a complete break. But I stated that I will do whatever he wanted from the situation. He said he was struggling to say what he wanted to say & didn't want to appear harsh. I told him to be as harsh as he liked. "Okay, I want you out of my life completely" he said. "Okay, no problem. This was always something I'd said to you & El, that if ever you didn't need me around, I'd leave no strings attached." He seemed happy with that. I deleted his number & Brock's number from my phone. They agreed to keep my number for future reference if they ever really needed me again (outside financial requests of course). We shock hands & left. The 14yo didn't want to know, however (will explain later). I proceeded to see an anxious Elekid, who'd been phoning to see me urgently. Unfortunately, he also felt hurt by my text & Cujo was in full control of him. He kept me waiting, at the door, the back door & tried to trick me into leaving. He told me to wait in the park, where he emerged from his house, looked back at me & headed up the road. I spent the next 30 mins or so, shadowing him. He was phoning me, pretending not to see me (this is where I should've gone home I guess, but I felt I had to see it through). He rejoined his brother & the 14yo at the arcade. (Btw, both have now pulled out of the film, their loss, said L.) I kept my distance, trying to explain that Pichu had agreed to break off from me "Why?" he asked. El insisted on taking me along with them, Pichu showed no sign of disagreeing & I did speak more to him & explained that Elekid didn't want to talk. Pichu did his best to organise one-2-one's over the night, but El/Cujo was playing mind games again, refusing to listen to my side of the story & placing all of the attacks as if they were from me. This kid lies to his brother about me, saying I wanted to break up completely, even when he wouldn't listen to a word I said. I proceeded back home. Pichu phoned "Why did you go without saying goodbye?" I told him what was going on with El, so he called me back. Me & Pichu talked at length, whilst El & the 14yo played hide & sneak (spying games) with us. Pichu wormed $35 out of me to "pay back his mum" & even wanted to insist on a strange ritual to show it wasn't for the machines & he really did need it. He said "Ah, okay, Do you want me to touch my feet. I don't really want to cause it's really wet & my feet will get cold." (I assume that this involved him taking off his shoes & socks to touch his barefeet as a sign of honesty, but never heard of that one before & Pichu didn't want to explain it to me.) (He did keep the money as far as I knew, he showed me the change after buying food.) The chat with El/Cujo was less profitable. He again was centering on the attack on him, by me in my room. Which I explained was after extreme provocation from him. He denied asking me to fight him that night saying that I'd requested the fight & he'd won when I refused. He put his "backing away" when I got up to challenge him down to because he thought that "I was going to cuddle him"????? When I'd really had enough & snapped. He didn't remember the arguements, or the reasons behind them. He was scared of me, but thought I was scared of him, so didn't want to fight him. He thanked me for assiting yesterday with his back problem, but again emphasised that skin-on-skin contact, gave him a funny feeling & he didn't like it. He wanted the massage "through his coat", which the majority of it was. I said to him "When you objected to skin contact I stopped, cause I've always said if there's anything you don't like to tell me straight away" he agreed with that, cause I had stopped when he said no. Pichu joined us briefly at El's request to explain things to him, about seeing his heart again & to explain the fight with his two personalities. Pichu knows this side of Elekid very well & has fought with it as well over the years. El relaxed a bit. "Should I forgive you." He said continuing "Type yes or no on my phone". "Forgive me for what?" I asked. He wouldn't explain, just insisted on a yes or no answer. So I typed "yes". "You wrote yes, okay then I forgive you." He then continued "Do you want a cuddle? Type yes or no." I should've seen this coming as another money trick, but at the time I didn't typing "yes". He looked at the phone "Did you type NO, I deleted it". He said joking around. We then shared two long cuddles, but not the true emotional ones from Elekid real heart. How did I know, cause he asked for $15 straight afterwards, a final payment, just as Pichu had said earlier, a last one ever (yeah, I believe that). I didn't refuse, we went to eat alone & were soon joined by Pichu & 14yo. Elekid was in a better mood with me now, but I was still reading that this was another bluff. I apologised to the 14yo for my comments yesterday & about saying stuff about meeting his brother. I asked him to be honest about what he & the 13yo thought about me (hold onto your chairs guys)........"He thinks your a Paedo & so do I" he said, "Okay" I replied "But I'm not & I'm sorry you feel that way." He later made it clear that he really didn't like me either, again I'd told him to be honest. (I've a strong personality guys.) We also met up with another kid, blonde, slim, 13yo, arcades addict, but I didn't speak to him at all. Pichu & the 14yo went their separate ways soon & upon leaving this kid made his intentions known that he didn't like El as we left. "What did you call me" said El to this kid - "gayboy" was the reply. Best to leave that one well alone. Before racing off to catch his train, I gave El my last $4. So he'd have $16 instead of $12. He wants to go to small-town again tomorrow, just the two of us. Back home, I read through more chapters of "Speaker for the Dead", cause I had to return the book, unfinished tomorrow (today). I text Elekid my last roll of the dice. I texted him the following "Jesus Loves You he died to save you from your sins. If you believe this with all your heart you live with him in heaven for eternity." I prayed on the subject & asked God to take over. He phoned later, happy & asking why I'd sent it. I didn't really say, but I also spoke to Pichu, he wanted to join us going to small-town. I agreed (so much for a break). I texed again later to El saying "I sent the message, cause he wants you to know that he loves you." I got no reply from it yet. In borrowing money again from me I think that they've made their intentions clear that they don't want it to stop. However, the chain of events had been already implimented by me to break away from them. I'll be staying at my gf's Monday-Friday for the next 5-6 weeks & commuting to work at weekends. Pichu already knows this, but Elekid wouldn't let me explain it properly (his loss). This will also give me a chance to see Ginger again, who I think really wants to repent of his actions towards me. The time apart will surely send a clear message to Elekid that I meant what I said about breaking away & I hope he thinks hard about it. He will only see me at weekends & very briefly at that, while we are bound to work times. Only God knows if this will work, but there is no alternative & no turning back now. I don't really want to see them today, as I know it will result in more financial problems & harsh words & arguements. I have de-attached my emotions here & will not hesistate to verbally hurt either if required (constructively not attackingly of course). Will write again soon (maybe Saturday) TTFN - Halo (& thanks to all readers for all your prayers) |
Follow ups: