No, you've just gone 360.
Submitted by PlatonicDieci on 2002-12-11 12:31:46, Wednesday
In reply to 180 degrees is 50% of 360 degrees. submitted by Old Heathen Pedo on 2002-12-11 02:48:56, Wednesday
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Picture us as two people talking over a distance. With myself as the center point, you were talking to the back of my head in your first post. Then you changed your approach, walked 180 degrees from where you were, and began talking directly to me. Since you were writing in away that was much more receptive to your audience I received your message 180% better. That is what I was saying. If you were to go 360, you'd be right where you started again. When I push people away, it's less about not feeling worthy and more about feeling threatened or expected to respond certain ways. It can also just be my desire to move towards something that is by nature away from who I'm pushing against. I value my personal space and freedom of will very highly, so when I ask for help I easily become defensive without meaning to. This has caused me to learn the hard way many times, but it's kept my wits together as well. Contradictions come from an unspoken change in view being expressed, or from changing deception I suppose. I am not sure what I believe, as I've stated, though in most of the responses I've written I speak as if I do for the point of discussion and illumination. Since I am not representing a fixed belief, as I continue to think things through I will continue to contradict myself while my thoughts are moving. Coming back to the issue of you being familiar with all of the relationships I am refering to, after thinking it over I know that you cannot be. There's only one person who's been close enough to me to know about *most* the relationships I've had- and that person has not been very close to many of those BLs nor almost any of the YFs I'm referencing. The experiences and relationships I have had reach over many different communities, and I can just about guarantee at least 50% of them don't know the other 50%. Therefore, you must be either the old friend or one of the BLs in a smaller group who you assume is a larger portion of my experiences. Either way, you don't know all of the relationships I've seen. I do not have ineptitude in the area of discerning relationships. I don't know where you get off telling me about my own objectivity in the first place. I am quick to make friends and slow to make enemies, I trust with small warrant, and am willing to take relational risks most are not. Even risks you will not, apparently. You may speak from some personal experience of me, in which case I have no way to respond other than you do not know me as well as you think you do. Under a pseudonym you know I can’t identify you tell me you have some deeper knowledge about things I am personally familiar with, relate to me that I've been mislead, then reference how I call Bach a close friend though you call me dear brother, and finish off with the conclusion that I must not be able to even discern if a person is without harm. My first response to that would be not one appropriate to post here. My second one is that if you refuse to show proof that you know me and all of my relationships pertaining to this subject in some deeper capacity, than you must understand your words have little basis. You call me dear brother, and yet I have no dear brother which would hide his identity from me and make such strong remarks knowing that it would offend me. It would seem you overstate your relationship to me more than I to Bach, and are not able to judge any better than you claim I am yourself. You also claimed to be 90% sure you know more concerning the relationships that you assume I am talking about than even I do. You now feel you not only know everyone else better than I do, but that you also know me better than I know myself! You must really have some magic ball to make such “leaps of faith.” As I've said you cannot possibly know more than half of the relationships I do as well as you claim, or know more than one of them near as well as you make out- depending on who you are. You also seem to keep assuming that there's some kind of relationship I am having which this conversation directly relates to. When I state that I will press on the direction I have until I am sure it's wrong, I mean only that I will further my inquiry-- not any sexual advances. You cannot truly know me if you believe that I would be in a position to make such advances. This is a hypothetical belief based discussion that only changes my perception of those around me and what I've experienced. This isn't a case of going to the school councilor about "a friend." I am willing to concede that some of the relationships I've had may be misleading- and that it's possible other relationships cause only spiritual harm even should they appear healthy emotionally and physically. Those are possibilities that I am pondering. However, I am not willing to believe you have near the insight nor know half of what you claim any longer. As for my question, I was not the one who boiled it down to simple sexual acts to begin with. I started with the assumption that the sexual act was done out of the desire of both parties to express their deep love for one another, as I view sex to ultimately be designed for. Guilt and loss of self worth would not play a factor, nor would prison or lightning bolts from God. Eternal damnation? I have the eternal grace and love of God on my side, there's no fear of that one. You basically waltzed around my question and spent the rest of the post judging me over things you have no proven knowledge of. At this point I feel you are a liar, or at the very least someone who’s gravely mislead as to their familiarity with that which they speak. Peace and Love In Christ, P.D. |
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