Hi, I'm new here
Submitted by HopeAgain on 2003-03-2 14:05:11, Sunday
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Hi everybody, I'm so glad I found this place. At first I was a little sceptical. I thougt this couldn't match - christian and BL (stupid, I know, but I never really accepted the way I am and I never really thought that there could be other people who are the same way I am). But then I started reading the postings and I was deeply touched. It was the first time I realized, that there are other christian BL except me. And it impressed me how open you talk to each other and how you support each other. So, I am 28, a christian and a BL. It's the first time, I talk about that with other people. I am in a church and for the most part I feel comfortable there. There are also a few people I am really close with and I can talk about most things - except my sexuality. I don't konw how they would react but I don't think they could handle it. I always felt like two persons, the one I showed the people around me and the one I had to keep secret. Since I'm a christian I know that god would forgive ALL my sins but I feel like that would only count for my "outward" person. I feel so bad for having this attraction toward boys. I hoped and prayed that God would turn me into a "normal" person and I tried to do it myself - but God didn't react and I myself failed (of course). Sometimes I tried to block it simply out of my mind but that only worked for a short time. I also thought about that I had to accept the way I am and then maybe God would change me. But how can I accept something when there is nobody else around to accept it and it seems like I'm the only one who is that way? I think that God led me to this board and I hope that I can find some answers here and maybe also some healing. I'm sorry if there are errors in my writing - english is not my motherlanguage. God bless you all, HopeAgain. |
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