There is hope!
Submitted by Nate on 2003-03-6 15:38:12, Thursday
In reply to I am ruined submitted by Genghis on 2003-03-6 06:09:02, Thursday
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Genghis, I am so very sorry that this has happened to you. You are a kind and caring person, and you don't deserve this kind of pain. It sounds to me like your roommate has judged you based upon the stereotype of the pedophile - believing that someone who is attracted to a boy will eventually molest him. You would think that after discussing this with you he would understand that you are not like that, but some people are stuck in their simplistic understanding of sexuality. You will know very soon whether your pastors are able to support you as a person, or whether their main concern is to cover their butts. That is one of the big issues for the people who find out about a BL - nobody wants the responsibility of knowing the secret in case something bad did happen. They are going to need to find support for themselves as they try to support you. There is no telling how things will go with B and his parents, but you have reason to be hopefull. They know the kind of relationship that you have with him better than anybody, and have encouraged you in it. I think it will depend to a large degree on how things are presented to them. There is a big difference between hearing that you were looking for counsel from a friend about feelings of sexual attraction, versus hiding a dark and secret lust, and plotting to get the boy alone (which I know is not you). Whether they feel threatened depends upon how they see the issue. I know it would be scary, but maybe you should go talk to them before the pastors do. After the rumors started flying in my own church, I stayed away from the boys house for a while. If I remember right, it was the mother who called me and invited me to lunch at their house. For a long time, I didn't try to take the boys anywhere, but would visit with them in the family room, where one of the parents was always around. Eventually, the boys were literally begging me to let them come spend the night, so I turned to the mother and asked, "How do you feel about that?" She was quiet for a minute, then started to tell me all the ways that she had seen improvement in her boys when they spent time with me, and finished with: "We know you would never hurt them." That is as much as they ever wanted to discuss it. Things never did become strained between me and the family, it was the rest of the community who could not deal with it. Even if things do go badly, and all of the relationships you have there really are ruined, remember that the world is a big place and your opportunities are limitless. You have many friends here who will support you. Above all, pray for those who seem to be your adversaries. Release God to work in amazing ways in this situation and bring Peace. I have prayed for you and will continue to. Love you, Nate |
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