Let God Repair You.

Greetings Ghengis, Dude, I'm just ... shocked. I know how it is to be backstabbed and betrayed. I learned a little too late that the bible says: "If a man betrays you once, it is their fault. But if a man berays you twice it is your fault , for trusting them"... or something along those lines. Nate has given you great advice, dude. All I can add is; "Life goes on." As Nate said, there are plenty of places in the world - sometimes the Lord has to give you a kick in the butt to get you out of the nest. As for your orientation, Ghengis. I personally don't believe that a person can change themselves away from what God has made you. I tried and almost died. However, now that I know it can be used for God's glory, I wouldn't give up the love I feel for these young ones for all the tea in China. They need so much love, and there are so few who are willing to give it. Yes, there are some sacrifices that have to be made - just like a gymnast can never be one of those powerful little weightlifters. They sacrifice agility and flexibility for strength. People just tend to get nervous when there is a javiline thrower on the soccer field, Ghengis. They don't know that a good javiline thrower can actually throw his javiline with more accuracy than they can kick the ball, simply because they've never been hit by an accurately thrown javiline. They've only heard of people, or been hit themselves, by the guys who don't know how to aim properly, and who are unfortunately numerous. Fields are not only used for throwing javilines, Ghengis, but also for playing soccer, and rugby, and sprints, and other track events - even just for playing with the grass. These are like the fields of life. Only everybody is on the filed at once, trying to complete in their own activity - and sometimes switching activities in between - while avoiding everyone else. Some of them even mix and match (like taking a hockey stick into a 100m sprint). They see a javiline thrower and shout, "DUCK!" and with that, they hit the deck. They just don't realise that, even though you are carrying a javiline, it doesn't mean that you will throw it. After all, i hasn't occurred to them that a marathon runner can carry a javiline further than the strongest man can throw it. If you don't understand then I understand ;-) I'll be praying that this all works out for you though. Friends shouldn't make you go through what you are - especially when you finally seem to be trying to change. Earth! Out. Brother Paul.