Re: Why?
Submitted by Dakota on 2003-03-11 17:59:17, Tuesday
In reply to Re: Why? submitted by Genghis on 2003-03-11 11:29:47, Tuesday
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I just wanted to clarify that in my post above, I never meant to imply that I thought you were wrong not to tell B's parents from the start. There were special circumstances when I told my friend. I was having trouble dealing with my BL feelings and needed some support. This was long before I found this board. I felt I could trust this friend. There's more to the story than him gradually accepting me as a non-molesting pedophile. It wasn't a total success story. At first, he was unable to handle it and confided in our pastor what I had told him. Although I don't think the pastor told anyone else, it still resulted in me leaving the church. I was afraid any interaction at all with a boy in church might cause the pastor to feel he had to "warn" the parents about me. So there was some good and bad both that came out of my confession to a friend. I can't imagine going up to some parent whose son is my friend and saying, "BTW, I think you should know that while I'd never harm your son, I am sexually attracted to him." I don't agree that they deserve to know. If the son was at risk, then they would deserve to know. Telling them would only burden them with worries that they need not have. I read somewhere that before telling anyone something that might cause them stress you need to determine if it is necessary to tell them. For instance, if a man cheats on his wife, does he confess to his wife? I think he would need to determine if he wants to confess for reasons of being honest with her, or to assuage his guilt. Would it be worth it to cause her pain? I'm getting off track. My point is that telling B's parents was no longer an option thanks to your "friends." So you did what had to be done. And B's parents might eventually come to accept it. But if this hadn't happened, there is no way I would have told them. I don't know where this church is that Maverick goes to that has 5 known boylovers who are not only accepted, but allowed to work with youth, but I'm sure it's nowhere near where I live. If people understood what pedophilia was and was not, I would say honesty is the best policy. Maybe in the future, probably not in my lifetime, that day will come. But as long as people fear and mistrust all pedophiles, best to keep things a secret. IMHO. Dakota |
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