The challenge
Submitted by Ray on February 02 1999 at 07:25:02
In reply to Re: BLs and The challenge Submitted by Jeremy on February 02 1999 at 01:00:15
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Jeremy, At the top of this thread, you wrote: Yet, as I was attempting to focus on the Man this weekend, I was continually and directly distracted by, whatelse, a 10-yr-old boy. He’s the son of a campus pastor who, although from a different college than mine, I know somewhat well. I need to wrap this baby up so I’ll cut to the chase if I can: because of my recent thoughts on a possible constructive use for my boylove, I fell deeper in love with this kid than I’ve allowed myself to be in a long time. He doesn’t need a ‘mentor’, and has a fantastic family of his own ... yet there he was interfering with my time with God in my mind. I haven’t even really talked to him either, he saw me talk to his dad a few times but basically doesn't know I exist...there is no logic in this, there never is... I suspect that there is a message in it somewhere, but am confused. Did you consider that your continual and direct distraction was the result of your attempts to focus and your were closer to finding God? [B]ecause of my recent thoughts on a possible constructive use for my boylove, I fell deeper in love with this kid than I’ve allowed myself to be in a long time sounds to me like the Holy Spirit at work! After all, isn't the fruit of the Holy Spirit love, joy, peace, etc.!!! And in this case, may I suggest that the source of the confusion -- the unlove, the unjoy, the unpeace -- is society's attempts to control what it sees as a dangerous situation. You have internalized the taboos of the society, but the Holy Spirit at work within you is in conflict with those taboo's. I know that that's an unusual way of looking at your situation, but to me, it is a better way of thinking than that there's something wrong with you! To a great extent, I think that's what I'd say to those who thought I had a problem 10 - 12 years ago. 'Course there were other things going on in my life then that complicated "my problem." He doesn’t need a ‘mentor’, and has a fantastic family of his own ... I've come to a stage in life where "mentor" is a dirty word. It seems to be the only allowable relationship in a situation such as you mention. Rather than allowing for variety of ways in relating, it sets up an adult/child type relationship (to use the transactional analysis language from decades ago) where the adult has the power and status, instead of a more friendly, peer-like relationship where the power and status are more equally shared by the participants. Differences are in other specific contributions to the relationship. I suppose some who use the word mentor have a broader definition than I and include with the word some of what I'm implying. This is just my negative reaction to the contexts in which I've heard the word used in the past five years. I haven’t even really talked to him either, he saw me talk to his dad a few times but basically doesn't know I exist. Seems as though the work begun by the Holy Spirit is dead-ended until you talk with him, in what you deem to be an appropriate and comfortable situation. That work is continued when you allow him to react to you -- or choose not to react to you, as the case may be! Above you said: One unquestionable benefit to being a boyloving Christian is the perspective it gives us. We can't really fall into the game of being a comfortable-Christian and stop asking questions, and thereby stop growing... Sometimes I think that I would've never found God if I didn't have boylove to keep me humble. How true! Watch the level of humility, though! When your identity as a boylover leads you into self-contempt, let your identity as a child of God lift you to an appropriate level of humility! F.O.D., if you're reading this, I'm still hoping for the next installment in the "... years ago" series. This past weekend had a heavy workload and a sister who had a stroke which distracted me, not to mention income taxes among other things. Ray |