Been there
Submitted by Heather on February 03 1999 at 10:34:18
In reply to Can spirituality help me? Submitted by Cham on February 03 1999 at 07:25:50
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Hard to give advice, though - everyone approaches this matter in a different way. What I did was browse through a copy of Leo Rosten's Religions in America and figure out from that which denominations interested me, but that may be too cerebral an approach for some people. Another thing to do is to just plunge in by visiting different churches and getting a sense of what the people there believe through how they worship. My recommendation would be to try four different types of churches. (By the way, I'm assuming that you're living in the U.S.; the situation is somewhat different in other countries.) 1) Liberal Protestant churches. This is a good place to figure out what you believe about God, because liberal congregations are usually filled with questioning people, struggling to define their faith. The United Church of Christ and Quaker meetings that are allied with the Friends General Conference are two of the denominations I've visited that have lots of questioning people. The Unitarian Universalists (whose congregations aren't necessarily Christian or even theistic, but who are descended from Christianity) and Reform Jewish congregations are also places you could visit, if you're not sure whether you're headed toward Christianity or are going in some other direction. 2) Mainline Protestant churches. These are all over the place; I hardly even need name them. A lot of them are torn up at the moment over sexual issues, but they're usually the most relaxing place to worship. 3) Evangelical Protestant churches. Not my area, but I'm sure others here can offer advice on specific denominations. Evangelical churches aren't a place where you would feel comfortable if you eschew literalism, but generally they take their faith very seriously and are a good place to learn about the fundamental beliefs of Protestant Christianity. 4) Catholic-tradition churches. These are the Eastern Orthodox churches (the Orthodox Church in America is your best bet), the Catholic Church, and Anglo-Catholic churches (Episcopal or Anglican churches that use the word "Mass" to describe their services). If you love elaborate ceremonies and doctrines, this is the place to go. Their theology is very rich and is strongly grounded in tradition. (The Orthodox churches still worship the way Christians did in the early centuries.) If you're thinking about other religions besides Christianity, most nonChristian faiths fall into the category of "traditional religions." The reason I advise you to visit these different types of churches is that it's awfully easy to get the impression, when you're starting out looking at Christianity (or any religion, for that matter), that there's only one type of belief, and if you don't feel you can share that belief, there's no place for you. The truth is, there's a religious community for everyone in the world - some religions like Unitarian Universalism even accept atheists - so if you're looking for some sort of spiritual community, you're sure to find some place that either shares your beliefs or (this is important) challenges your beliefs. You don't want to get into a shopping mentality, of course, and judge churches by whether they conform to your preconceptions of what you need. But if you go to a church (or some other house of worship) and find yourself growing spiritually, that's probably a good indication that you've found your home. On boylove: As you're no doubt aware, things are pretty tough for boylovers in terms of religion - I don't know of any religion, Christian or nonChristian, that would automatically open its heart to boylovers. Christianity (along with some other faiths) does have a tradition - which its participants sometimes live up to - of reaching out to the marginalized, so if you find a congregation that takes that message seriously, it's likely you'll fi nd individuals in that congregation who will be willing to approach you in a civilized manner. Incidentally, the Gospels in the New Testament make awfully inspiring reading for a boylover. Jesus keeps getting criticized for associating with people who are scorned in the same way that boylovers are; he replies by informing his critics that the moral outcasts are going to end up in heaven before the rightous people do. And for a possible reference to boylove in the Gospels, check out the FAQ of this board. Keep us posted on how things go! Heather P.S. I've linked below to the best Web site on religion; it has a liberal slant and doesn't cover most of the mainstream Christian denominations, but Leo Rosten's book is good for that. |