Re: Yet more advice needed...
Submitted by Heather on February 08 1999 at 21:57:04
In reply to Yet more advice needed... Submitted by Scott on February 08 1999 at 18:21:13
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I know a number of married boylovers, some of whose wives know about their feelings. Like you, I can't imagine that a marriage where one partner didn't know about something that important would be much of a success. Nor can I imagine why anyone would want to marry someone when they couldn't tell the other person about something that important. I don't think this is the sort of thing one can announce all of the sudden; you have to lead up to it gradually, since she's bound to have lots of preconceptions about pedophilia that you need to get rid of before making her aware of the personal dimensions of this. Some people I know do it by the usual "I have a friend who . . ." method, but you know better than I do whether you could get away with that without her guessing immediately that you were talking about yourself. At any rate, all I can say is that, if I discovered that my husband was hiding something like that from me, I'd be very, very upset. If she's "very special," then chances are that she'll weather this out if you tell her in a gentle enough fashion. If she's not, then as you say, it's better for both of you that you know now. I'll be praying for you-- Heather |