Yet more advice needed...
Submitted by Scott on February 08 1999 at 18:21:13
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Greetings fellow travelers, Having had in mind the possibility of outing myself in public, I figured I may as well drop the nick and use a real name. (We are new creatures in Christ anyway, who needs to pretend anymore?) I have a question for you all, and I will appreciate any and all responses, criticisms, opinions, etc. I am contemplating marriage with a very special woman. She is a Christian, and we have been together for several years now. She would like to get married sometime in the next few years. If I feel that we will probably not get married, she would like to find someone who will. She told me that she would prefer to marry me, instead of breaking up. I am not ready to be married yet, and in any case, my marriage would be somewhat out of the ordinary. She knows all this, and is still willing to wait for me and to be in an "abnormal marriage." She does not know that I am a boylover. She would not understand. If she knew, she would still love me, but we would no longer be together. She knows that I like children, indeed we work together, but she has no idea how much boys mean to me. The option of simply not telling her is not an option, as I believe it to be dishonest. Have any of you been married, did your wives know or not know, and how did they deal with it, knowing or unknowing? Has being a boylover cost any of you a marriage? I would rather spare her the pain of a future divorce, as she has been through much already and I want her to be happy when she gets married, and for it to be permanent, if it is with me or another man. My wise Father in heaven has sent no clear signals, so I am asking for the input of my peers. Any advice would be welcomed. Feel free to email anything particularly long. Confused, wandering, and searching, Scott (formerly puppetmaster) |