Parallel Lives
Submitted by Ben on February 13 1999 at 11:16:58
In reply to Prelude to Divinity Submitted by Thumb on February 10 1999 at 01:41:25
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Welcome Thumb - Your story went right to my heart because it is exactly the story that I could have told when I was your age. I worked at summer camps for 9 years, 7 of them at day camp and 2 of them (the first ones) at overnight camp. It was at overnight camp that I fell hopelessly in love with a 10 year old (I'll call him Darren). He was the most beautiful boy that I had ever seen, with soft straight bowl cut golden hair, green eyes with yellow flecks in them and the most perfect face, skin and body that God could create. It is easy for me to tell you about this because I have been a celibate boylover all of my 32 years, and never did anything remotely sexual with him. I did fantasize about him ALOT and when I went away to college the next winter he was all that I thought about. My love for him would never have evolved had he not been so warm, intelligent and funny. He was liked by everyone and had the most humble of attitudes, even though he was both the best looking kid and the best athlete. My love for him grew the next summer as well, and it reached a point where people would make fun of me for always having him on my back or on my lap. I was completely blinded with love for him and could never lose that love. We can talk more about how you feel and perhaps we can learn a bit from each other. I am sorry that you got the feeling from boychat that you did. The truth is that boychat used to be a much smaller group, and was therefore a much more caring place. Now it has become like a busy train station, making it impossible to police what is said or to gain anything from it. There are certainly people there (some I have met in person) who are as genuine and true as you are. It's just that the forum has spun out of control. I am glad that you found your way here. Please believe me when I tell you that I know EXACTLY what you are going through. You are not alone. Ben |