The Equivocal of Consciousness
Submitted by Thumb on February 28 1999 at 07:06:00
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Hi. The time is now, I am here - and I'd like to share something with you. Be Here Now It was no more than a week ago, that I had the time of my life at The Happiest Place on Earth. I had planned to go there with a group of people that I knew, and a couple of exchange students that have been living here for five months. This was to be their first visit to the realm of fantasy and fun. That morning, before we left, my little friend gave me a visit. Usually, on the weekends, I am not up this early, and my friend had obviously noticed that I was running about and putting stuff in the car I was to take up to Anaheim. He had been playing by himself on a playground around the corner, as he often did, and had this exuding ray of joy about him. With a beautiful smile, the kind that gives a perfect account of his remarkable zest for life, he asked me what I was doing. Before I even finished the sentence that was to reveal the mystery of what I was up to, I felt this sudden urge to invite him to join us for a whole day of fun and games, and my asking him made the smile on his face grow beyond what I thought possible for a kid his size. He ran off to get permission to go from his mother, and five minutes later he was back - with a backpack, in which he kept his little "Snoopy" wallet, along with an extra set of clothes, two bottles of water, and some sandwiches that his mother had made for him. I was so happy that he was coming with me, because it meant that I would be spending the whole day with him - having endless fun. And, needless to say, it was a day to remember. We had such a good time together; laughing, talking, going on rides, eating, getting our picture taken together with Mickey Mouse. I haven't been so high on life for the longest time. And on the way back home we were both exhausted. While driving, I watched him slowly wander away to a Fantasyland of his own, as he fell asleep beside me in the car. He was so peaceful in his slumber, and watching him dream helped me find a wonderful place within myself, that I have never quite been acquainted with before. It was sort of a dream state, even though I was still very awake and alerted, as I concentrated on carrying us home on the freeway. Before I took him in my arms, and carried him to the front door of his house, I ran my hand through his hair, and thanked him for a day that I would cherish forever. Fountain of Glee This evening, after dinner, I had sat down to read a book of poetry. It was a collection of poems, by one of my favorite poets - Robert Frost. I have read this book a number of times before, but every time I read it, I find something new to his words and rhythms, that keeps me on my toes, and makes me want to dig deeper into his poems and discover the meaning of why they are there. I hadn't gotten far, when our phone rang. Obviously, I was not in the mood to get up and answer it. So I waited until my mom picked it up, and started talking. To my surprise, whomever was on the other line, was calling for me. I asked my mom who it was, and she said that she had no idea, that it was a woman's voice, not the kind of voice that she was used to when people were calling for me. This, of course, triggered the curiosity within me. On the phone was my little friend's mom, asking if I could come over that evening to babysit him for her, as she suddenly had to run out. I was at a loss for words. I could hardly believe it. I had never babysat for her before, and usually had little if any contact with her during the winter. Of course I had spoken with her often during the daycamps in the summer, and we knew each other in a way. But this came as a total surprise to me. But, nevertheless, I was delighted to help her out. I was ecstatic. Another Saturday spent with my wonderful little friend. I got ready in a flash, and went over to their house. By the door, he greeted me with a hug. I stopped breathing for a little while, as his affectionate greeting caught me off-guard. But I put my hands around him, and told him tha t it was nice to see him again. When he released me, he took me by the hand and led me into their living room, and pointed out a big bowl of popcorn that was to be ours to enjoy during the evening. His mom came rushing out of the bathroom, apologising for the situation as she put her shoes on. I told her that it was no problem, that I was more than delighted to spend the evening there. I told her not to worry, as her son and I would have a good time together as we always did. She paused for a moment, gave me a thankful smile - and then she was off. This evening was more than just a perfect ending to a good day. We played games, watched TV, ate popcorn, read books, and joked around. I let him stay up late, but eventually I told him to go and put his jammies on so that he could get ready for bed. While he brushed his teeth, I made myself a comfortable bed on the floor, right in front of the TV. I had a number of pillows under my head, and a warm and cozy blanket on top of me. There was nothing exciting on, "Walker, Texas Ranger" and "Saturday Night Live", so I turned it off. When I had left home that evening, I had sense enough to bring my book of Rober Frost's poetry with me. So, after I turned off the TV, I opened the book and started reading. Shortly, I felt this alien warmth enter my domain under the blanket. My little friend had slipped under the warm blanket, and was lying beside me on the floor. He had his red-and-blue jammies on, and I detected a peppermint scent coming from his mouth, as he opened it to ask me what I was reading. I told him I was reading poems. Then he asked me to read some to him, and after short consideration, I concluded that a few more minutes wouldn't deprive him of too much sleep. So I read to him one of my very favorite poems by Robert Frost, called Wind and Window Flower. He paid close attention as I read it to him, and even though he probably didn't understand it very well, the rhythm and the rhyme caught his attention and he declared that he thought it was cool. I told him: "Tell you what, if you go on and crawl into bed, I will come into your room and read a couple more to you. Okay?" With one of his beautiful smiles, he nodded and said: "Yeah." And shortly after my reading by his bedside, he wandered off to the Fantasyland he had visited a week earlier. I myself did the same half an hour later - and enjoyed a wonderful dream until his mom gently woke me up around three this morning. I wouldn't have traded this evening with my friend for anything else in the world, and these two experiences have been enough to make the last week one of the best in my life. Post Scriptum: Here at the bottom I will include Robert Frost's Wind and Window Flower. I hope you have enjoyed reading this as much as I have enjoyed reliving it. I feel like the luckiest man alive right now, but dead tired as well. Thank you guys for your replies to my former posts, I always love coming here - it's a time well spent! Warm regards, Thumb Wind and Window Flower Lovers, forget your love, And list to the love of these, She a window flower, And he a winter breeze. When the frosty window veil Was melted down at noon, And the caged yellow bird Hung over her in tune, He marked her through the pane, He could not help but mark, And only passed her by To come again in dark. He was a winter wind, Concerned with ice and snow, Dead weeds and unmated birds, And little of love could know. But he sighed upon the sill, He gave the sash a shake, As witness all within Who lay that night awake. Perchance he half prevailed To win her for the flight From the firelit looking-glass And warm stove-window light. But the flower leaned aside And thought of naught to say, And morning found the breeze A hundred miles away. |