Re: Two Chrises
Submitted by Oliver on February 28 1999 at 23:18:36
In reply to Two Chrises Submitted by Mark on February 28 1999 at 20:08:59
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Hi Mark, Very interesting story, "Chris1" definately needs a male figure in his life. I would say let the relationship develop naturally. While you state that you would not want to appear to be too interested in Chris, I suspect A doesn't want to seem as though she's asking too much of you. I don't think offering to do an activity or spend a Saturday with Chris would be out of place. Watch closely, though, how his relationship with you grows. I have a 9yo cousin who I met for the first time this Christmas. His history is similar to Chris's, exept that my Aunt adopted him; he and his sister were taken out of custody of thier natural parents. He was very clingy and I was a little too receptive to his affections; when I had to leave the parting was overwhelming for the both of us. That is what you don't want to have happen with Chris. He may grow attached to you very quickly, and, being a BL makes it difficult to know what is rational in terms of a relationship--let Chris be the instigator in the relationship, and just show you care about him; there is nothng inappropriate with being interested and offerig mentorship. It's tough to know what to do with shy kids; you never know if you've "reached them". I suspect you made a bigger impression on Chris2 than you realize; he was probably upset that you had to go when he walked away. I was quite shy growing up; it was difficult for me to initiate conversation and I was quite private about my difficulties at home. This could have come across to other adults as being somewhat rude or uninterested if they were trying to befreind me. Even though that's what I wanted more than anything, it took them pushing me a little bit before I would warm up to them. My advice with Chris2--let him move at his own pace but be interested in him , his activities. Sounds like you've done a good deal of this already. Did you tell him you were a Math teacher? If he comes to the youth center after school, he may've brought homework with him, Perhapes you could help to tutor him or help with his homework. Just have patience, let God lead, and both Chris's will open up to you. Blessings, Oliver |