Two Chrises
Submitted by Mark on February 28 1999 at 20:08:59
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I hope everybody had a good weekend. As many of you know, I have never had a YF, but I definitely would like to love and help a boy, and I have recently encountered two possibilities. I spent a long time today with an older couple from church, A and her husband. V came along; the visit was actually for her benefit. They invited us to lunch at their house, and we talked for a long long time about all kinds of things--the recent death of V's husband, her 15 yo son's difficulties, my childhood, the death of A's previous husband, the suicide of A's son Mark, and the home life of A's stepgrandson Chris. Chris is 9yo, and his mother goes through one man after another. Chris's father left her, then Mark became his step-father. Both Mark and the mother were addicted to drugs, then Mark committed suicide. The mother is no longer on drugs, but she is rather neglectful with Chris and his sister. They do not do anything together as a family, even have meals together. Chris's mother does not get the kids involved in any activities or church. She has had a few different boyfriends since Mark, and they frequently sleep with her, which the kids do not like. According to A, the mother wants the kids out of the house on weekends so she can spend the time with her current boyfriend. So A gets them on some weekends and brings them to church. A complained that there is no good moral influence on the kids, and no males in Chris's life. She said that dealing with two kids is pretty tough for her and her husband at their age (60 and 80). They both said they really think a lot of me. I would love to befriend Chris. I told A that I would be glad to do whatever I could to help. The real trouble is that they all live 30 miles away from here, so it would not be convenient for me to help out. Not that I would mind the drive, but I fear it would probably look suspicious were I too eager, even though I would do nothing improper with Chris. I am hoping to get to know Chris better and find out what he likes. Maybe I can offer to do something with him one of these days. But his attendance at church is sporadic. Last week was the second time I've gone to a nearby children's/youth center, along with three students from our school, as a Christian service activity I have organized. The idea is to befriend and help kids who might not be getting the attention and role models at home that they need. Many of the kids there are from dysfunctional or abusive homes. The first time we were there I just helped a few kids with homework or gave advice as they were playing computer games. The second time we were there, the volunteer coordinator encouraged us to befriend and play games with kids that seemed to be alone. After a while I discovered a boy who was playing table shuffleboard all by himself, so I went over and joined him. Then we played ping-pong for a very long time. I stopped a bit to just chat, but he seemed a bit uncommunicative. I found out he's 12, and his favorite subject is math! Hmmm, maybe we were made for each other. Anyway, his name is Chris, too, and he's very adorable. But he didn't talk much. When I told him it was time for me to go, he just walked away without saying goodbye or anything. I didn't feel like I did a very good job relating to him at all. Any advice would be appreciated! Mark |