Re: Two Chrises
Submitted by Nash on March 01 1999 at 17:14:12
In reply to Two Chrises Submitted by Mark on February 28 1999 at 20:08:59
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Hi Mark, I agree with the other replies you have gotten.Onthe second Chris he has possibly been mistreated by adults and therefore does not want to get close to adults anymore. He wants to hide in his own shell and be his own person. You are doing good already. Just let him know that you are interested in being his friend and show you care a little at a time. He will eventually learn to trust you and will be more open to you. The first Chris i would consider offering to pick him up every sunday for church. Since his attendance is sporadic. He may want to go every week but does not have the option to, i don't know. I would also talk to him about his faith and religion etc. besides just things he likes to do. On both of these boys, don't push too hard or they will leave. Let them gradually accept you into their world. Years ago I met a cousin i had for the first time, he was 10 then. We instantly connected and became best friends and did everything together, fishing trips, baseball, football, going to the mall etc. This lasted for a few years then he slowly withdrew from me in time and out of my life. He is 24 now and does not even talk to me. I always wanted to know what happened between us, i know it was not because i didn't spend enough time with him or not love him enough, so last year i finally asked him. His response? He said i loved him too much, i smothered him with my love and caring and he didn't know how to handle it. Ican see his point now after thinking about it. I did love him very much and tried to be with him whenever i could. He was spending all his time with me instead of friends in his age group. I didn't know i was the problem. For the first time in my life i had someone to love and care for and i over did it. I still remember the day that he broke our ties together. It still hurts to think about it now, especially when i look at all the pictures i have of him and say "that was when we were close" Ilong for those days again but know it will never happen. Sorry to ramble on like this, i was writing to give you my 2 cents worth and ended up writing about my experience. Just don't push too hard, that's all. I wish you good luck with them both. Love, Nash |