Re: Teacher or friend? which is it?
Submitted by Ben on March 03 1999 at 07:53:08
In reply to Teacher or friend? which is it? Submitted by Oliver on March 02 1999 at 00:15:16
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Oliver - Since I've been exactly where you are (and further ahead as well), I can relate to your dilemma. The answer is one that you might have a hard time hearing. The truth is, as I've always seen it, is that you must be a teacher first. There are definately ways to be a teacher which make you caring, even loving and certainly able to enjoy the company of the kids that you teach. In a way, by being a guide, a source of right and wrong and an unwaveringly fair adult in their lives, you DO become their friend. But this takes on a different appearance and it happens LATER ON, not right away. The core problem is that when you establish yourself as a child's friend, you establish the fact that their acceptance of you is important to you. (Again I know that this sounds harsh and mean....please beleive, me I am/was one of the most well liked teachers among the kids....even though it seems like I am teaching you how NOT to be). When you place yourself at the mercy of a child's acceptance, they control the situation...which means that if they don't feel like learning and listening to you, they don't have to. This does NOT mean that you don't listen to them, respect them, even allow them to have different opinions. It does mean though that they do not PERCEIVE your need for their acceptance. Maybe by looking at Jesus, you CAN understand this. JESUS did not crumble, when one didn't follow him. On the contrary, he felt bad for them. His confidence in what he KNEW to be TRUE and right was unwavering, and people loved him and followed him because he provided them with solid teaching. On the other hand, the fact that he was fair (he ate with the sinners as well as the apostles) and that he often came down to their level to help them understand, made him REAL and made it apparent that he cared. Actually, in thinking this through, you have heightened MY respect for Jesus as a teacher. Fifth and sixth grade are wonderful ages. Don't ever let them fool you into thinking that they don't need you, or that they don't have to listen to what you say. Kids can spot a phony miles away. I'm really psyched for you. Lets share more! You are not alone. Ben (Struggling hard to find God....) |