You are at the place where most, if not all, of us have been. God hears your prayer, and knows the sincerity of it. He can, and WILL help you. Please come in and make yourself at home here, and read what others have to say, and what they have been and are going through.
"For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart." Hebrews 4:12
The "twoedged sword" is the Bible, one edge being the Old Testament, and the other being the New Testament. It's all there for the Spirit to reveal its meaning to us. I am joining with others in prayer for you.
God Bless You, GRA