mixing society's needs with boy's needs
Submitted by d on August 04 1999 at 17:50:28
In reply to Depiction of love.....? Submitted by Some guy in the NW (aka Jesus lover) on August 04 1999 at 13:32:05
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This probably should go under Gerald's reply of 16:59:55 8/04. I've never met a child quite as fiesty as Fiesty (I have met some super-huggers in my time though), but I have considered what to do if a kid goes overboard with affection. Bear in mind the definition of "overboard" is usually whatever the kid's parents would say if they were present, or if in public, what local society says. If a kid not related or otherwise very close to me (say, a foster child in the process of adoption) kissed me on the lips or "all over" I would tell the child that kissing like that is a very special thing and that he should kiss his mom and dad like that (or boy/girlfriend if he's old enough), but not anyone else. When the kid asks why, I say that your parents are more special than me, and if you gave me those special kisses you wouldn't have anything MORE special to give your mom and dad. Of course, if the kid doesn't kiss his parents (for whatever reason) I would know that and would have to think of some other way to "normalize" the situation. By the way, eskimo kisses, "noogies", mussing with a kids hair, holding hands (if kid is young enough), and in some circles, through-the-clothes backrubs are socially acceptable ways to show affection to a kid. At this point, my non-boylover-ness and family upbringing are relevant and I must plead "fish out of water" - lip-kissing has some definate sexual overtones for me, and I will probably not kiss my own (future) children on the lips (that's what cheeks and forheads are for :^) ). For me, this is a privilage extended only to my girlfriend or wife. However, I assume if a kid is trying to lip-kiss me, he learned it from somewhere, hopefully at home or from family. This is why I can say to a person not my wife/girlfriend "it's not OK for me to lip-kiss you, but it is OK for you to lip-kiss others". |