Depiction of love.....?
Submitted by Some guy in the NW (aka Jesus lover) on August 04 1999 at 13:32:05
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Hey All, I had a pressing question that I really wanted some feed back on. Let me give you some quick history first for those that don't know who I am... I was raised in an abusive dysfunctional Christian home, and I suffered ALOT of verbal abuse, and some physical abuse aswell as minimal not exactly sexual abuse (Issues that relate to spanking). I all my life have been made fun of which resulted in super low self esteem and alot of self hatred and stuff like that. I had been searching for someone I could trust with everything, and God brought my pastor to this point, by God's grace. So a year and a half ago I started hanging out with his family, I am about 23 and his family: "Papa" under 40ish, Momma under 40ish, oldest son teenager, only girl teenager, middle son freshly branded a teenager, and then there is the youngest who is about 10; I will refer to him as feisty. Feisty, about 2 months ago started trying to kiss me on the lips, I had never experienced this level of affection in my life, so naturally I freaked out. I learned that I was not the only guy that wasn't a blood family member that was kissing feisty so I came to the conclusion that it was all right. After a couple of weeks I realized it wasn't such a big deal, so I when he went to kiss me and I kissed him back. I was also doing some weird behaviors, he was playfully trying to "kiss me all over" trying to give me hickeys and stuff. I did not welcome this behavior at all, and pushed him away everytime he tried. About 2 weeks ago I told his papa, his papa didn't take the news too well, realizing that it made me uncomfortable. I also feared that if he realized I liked the kissing of his son feisty on the lips, he wouldn't let me around his kids. So I stuck with the fact that the affection level was too much for me 'right now'. Papa told his son, feisty, that he was not allowed to kiss me on the lips and definitely not allowed to 'kiss me all over', which was fine with me, because it indeed was an unconvertible issue, mostly because I feared his dad's reaction, and that he would tell me that he didn't want me to be around his kids so much (That wasn't the case at all). Well I am taking a vacation from his family for a little bit while I go through deliverance. I just thought I would share this with all of you. SGitNW |