Damage from playing with matches
Submitted by d on August 08 1999 at 22:29:58
In reply to Re: LOVE IS FOR EVERYBODY BUT SEX IS AN ADULT BUSINESS Submitted by Ben on August 08 1999 at 19:10:06
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> It is the sexual contact in general, not the partner, that can cause the damage.< Other factors in what good or harm can come from a particular act (be it sex or otherwise): - The partner: Is the other party looked up to by the child, seen as an equal, or seen as inferior, or seen as a "bad person"? - The child's attitude: Does the child know the act (whatever act) will be approved of, disapproved of, or neither by the parents? Some examples. "The act" will be playing with matches, something most parents discourage. If the child "knows better" then he knows he's sneaking around, and that is a different dynamic than if he doesn't know better, or if his parents actually encourage him to play with fire. Assuming the child knows his parents disapprove: If his science teacher, a respected member of the community, encourages him to play with matches, the child has to deal with the mixed message: science teacher says "do it", mom & dad say "don't." If his older brother's sleazy friend, the one his mom says to stay away from (think Eddie Haskill from Leave It To Beaver) encourages him to play with matches, then he knows he's sneaking around. He may play with them anyways, but he knows he shouldn't. If one of his own friends, a peer, encourages him to play with matches, it's almost like Eddie Haskill but not the same - the two of them are "in it together". -David ("d") |