Re: Ten years ago . . .
Submitted by pedro on August 10 1999 at 18:46:47
In reply to Ten years ago . . . Submitted by Heather on August 09 1999 at 23:43:46
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Hi Heather-- You know, one of the things that always impresses (and deeply touches) me is your clear ability to see our love for boys as equal to any other form of romantic love. You really do see that my love for this boy really is like the love you felt for this man. God bless you for that. You are truly one of the righteous in these dark times. Oh sweet Jesus, how to answer your question. . .does he know I'm in lvoe with him. Well, he absolutely does know that I LOVE him--I have said this many times and said it again on Friday (though this time in sign language, but he knows; he taught me how to say "I love you.") And I have told him out loud other times, as he has also told me. But does he know I'm IN love with him? I really can't venture to say. I know my niece has some idea. She once asked: "Is [he] your BOYfriend?" You should have heard the cascade of guffaws. But yes, I tend to think he does know, because he seemed to understand that my love for him was like "gay" love. I remember one time he put these stickers of ducks kissing on my shirt. Then he says: "That's a boy kissing another boy, and he's like. . .[HUGE smile on my love's face]" I told my niece I never want this boy to doubt that I love him. She has some idea the depth of it. So does he. That's part of what makes him so special. Will this make things better or worse for my beautiful prince? I honestly don't know. I do know that he seems to be doing well, that he seemed happy to see me, but that maybe I left him with something that will help him throughout the rest of his life. You know, each night I have a simple prayer, that whatever is best for this boy, make it so. If in God's eyes this means I don't see him again, then God make it so. What happens to me is not particularly important. But if my love is good, if this beautiful boy would be better off with me, then Lord, please make THAT so. Thanks be to God. --Pedro |