Re: Feelings can come and go
Submitted by Chris on August 14 1999 at 15:03:55
In reply to Confusion Submitted by rylan on August 14 1999 at 13:57:45
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Hi Rylan, I know how you feel. I had a period in my life when I was very confused about myself, my life and my sexuality. I was going to church and also seeing a counselor from that church. This counselor (I had told him I was gay, I didn't feel too good about bringing up the boylove issue with him so I thought that "gay" would be close enough for all practical purposes) had me going through all kinds of emotional stress because he had me believing that I could change from being gay (boylover) into a heterosexual. And so I tried for a long while to do just that. It eventually became so frustrating and I began to just hate myself so much that I started drinking again (I am also a recovering alcoholic, I had had 5 years of good sobriety before this). I almost drank myself to death. I thank God I got my webtv in the midst of all my drunken foolishness and was eventually lead here to these good people. I don't feel the same way about myself or my condition in life now. I am sober (praise God) and I know that I am a child of God, a Christian, saved by His grace, and very much loved by Him. I am satisfied with His grace now and I know now that if God wants me to be something other than what I am, then for sure He has the power to change me. I trust His judgement in how my life is to be lived and I do my best to be His child. I still have some days when I feel like crap, probably because I drank for so long and so hard and I may have a chemical imbalance going on leading to a little bit of depression. I don't worry too much about it because I know it will pass. This forum helps me a LOT as does my growing faith in God and the love of my friends. And a certain prayer. You may have seen this before but really take a look at the words, they seem to be saying a LOT to Christians like us. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (sound familiar?). The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference" Keep coming back here, Rylan, we can help. God loves you more than you can know right now. His love will ALWAYS see you through anything in life, even confusion or negative feelings or depression. God bless!!!! Your brother in Christ, Chris |