Re: Opinions please..
Submitted by Ben on September 23 1999 at 20:20:58
In reply to Opinions please.. Submitted by honesty.. on September 23 1999 at 18:13:20
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Biblical discipline virtually insists that children be physically corrected, leading many strongly Christian parents to use corporal punishment. On the other hand, in a society of enabling, weak parents who refuse to discipline their children, corporal punishment is viewed as anything from distasteful to abusive. And in fact some corporal punishment is abusive. Here are two biblical concepts that I have studied about discipine: Proverbs 29:15 The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother. The rod (I'm using this in the general sense of whatever corporal punishment is to be used) is used as a method of 'correction', which is often not clearly understood by most parents. To be effectively used as correction, the rod must be clearly explained to the child as the consequences of a particular action. The discipline must be sufficient for the child to not repeat the action out of reverence for the pain felt from the rod. The parent has to have a clear head and be in a 'teaching' mode in order to really execute this. Most parents, however, discipline when they are angry, really for the purpose of venting their anger at the child instead of for actually correcting. This is selfish and self serving for the parent who is not controlling his anger and is a terrible example to a child. If the amount of punishment has reached a sufficient point that the parent believes the behavior will not be repeated, any further use of 'the rod' is no longer accomplishing anything. At this point, the parent is abusing the child. I see no reason why a child must bleed in order to be disciplined. Pain can be inflicted without causing damage and in a way that it can be regulated and not overused, simply with a spanking or perhaps a leather strap (I am not an advocate of using a strap but accept that some children have too high a tolerance for pain for a hand to be sufficient). The second concept which is usually missed is that the bible expects parents to become less authoratitive with their children as they get older and more influential instead. Most parents do not have the understanding of the need for EARLY childhood correction simply because the child seems too small and fragile. In fact, a child's sense of right and wrong can be developed to a greater degree before the child reaches the age of puberty. You cannot reason with a two year old, nor can you convince them that a particular behavior is wrong. Sometimes, an appropriate amount of punishment has to be used even at that age, so that later on, the child begins to make good decisions on his own. Finally, children differ in their innate sense of right and wrong and in their ability to respond to reason. Parents have to be tuned into their child enough to realize that some children are so over ridden with guilt that they do not need to be spanked (and shouldn't be). On the other hand, incorrageable children need to learn early on that they are out of line. The rod may be the only thing that they will listen to. You are not alone. Ben |