Choices
Submitted by Heather on October 11 1999 at 23:42:11
In reply to There is a difference Submitted by Mark on October 11 1999 at 22:36:30
|
"But I think there is a difference: they have freely chosen to be celibate. Freely? Well, I guess it's all a matter of perspective. If you'd asked me, back in the days when I was trying my darnedest to be chaste, whether I had freely chosen to do so, I'd have said, "Freely? Freely? Are you out of your cotton-pickin' mind?!" Or words to that effect. A nonboylover who doesn't meet the person of her dreams, and is holding to the marriage-or-nothing rule, feels no more free than a boylover; the only difference is, of course, that she can hold out hope that the sixteenth guy she meets will work out. That's a big difference, I agree, and I don't want to minimize the effect it can have on one's rational perspective. During the dark moments of the night, though, the difference is infinitesimal. If you look at the history of sexuality, it's one long history of lack of choices. For most of history, women didn't have any choice in what man they married – if they loved another man and didn't love their husband, it made no difference. For that matter, the men often didn't have any choice in the matter either. Nor did most of the monks and nuns throughout history have any choice in whether to be celibate – most of them were dedicated to the Church when they were children. You do have a choice, of course – you can move Spain or some other country where the age of consent works for you. Likewise, I had the choice to go against my principles and repeat my past mistakes. We're luckier than most of the people in the past. Heather (always taking the glass-half-full perspective) |