Re: My first post here.
Submitted by Brian on October 12 1999 at 02:27:15
In reply to My first post here. Submitted by BLues on October 11 1999 at 01:13:38
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Hey BLues, Welcome from another recent arrival! You stated that "Maybe instead of focusing on how to be better Christians you should focus on how to be better boylovers." I came to this forum wondering how I could simply be Christian and a boylover at the same time. As I read the posts here, I started to come to the conclusion that it is not only possible to be Christian and a boylover, but to be a Christian boylover. I won't say that there isn't this part of me that is very attracted to boys sexually, but I really have to rise above this drive. As a Christian boylover I have to rise above a normal kind of love that is between a husband and wife, or between gay couples because chances are I will not be able to express my love in a physical or sexual way (even if I would really love to). The best expression of love that I can hope to give is usually just being there. Being trustworthy, kind, compassionate, willing to listen, willing to feel what they are feeling, willing to be the shoulder they can cry on, or being the guy they can just hang on, or being the one to help them figure out some emotional mess that is building up inside them, and on and on. There is so much that the society that we live in does not do for many of the boys that are out there. If I can help a couple, or a few, or alot of them out, then I want to do that. As I struggle to gain my own identity, with the feelings that are churning within me, I try to do so in a way that allows me to feel God's love. I really don't doubt you saying that being a boylover comes before being a Christian. In my own life I have to say that this is true. It is because of this that I have begun to see that since this is a part of who I am it is also a part of the person that God accepts me to be. I am a Christian because I believe that God has called me to be. He has seen good in me and He has seen bad in me, and still He has called me because He has a larger plan for my life. He loves me, and because He does, I can't help but to love also. It is from all this that I choose to walk with God. It is tough to bring my life into my religion. But I have faith in Jesus Christ. He walked on this earth for a number of years. He has a pretty good idea of what I'm going through. I really do think that he understands. And as such, I think that he can see past it. Don't be sorry for being so cynical. It has great value. We absolutely cannot grow in who we are, both as human beings and in our faith as Christians if we are not cynical. Thanks for bringing it here also. Though I am not expressing myself as clearly as I want to, you have made me think pretty hard, which is very hard to do at 2:00 in the morning. It always helps to keep us on our toes because these are questions that we are always fighting to review in our own lives. I am struggling just like you, so please know that you are not alone in this. It is a tough road to walk down, and we all need to be honest with ourselves. A fellow wayfarer, Brian |