My first post here.
Submitted by BLues on October 11 1999 at 01:13:38
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Ive been sitting here for a while now reading through all of the postings and altough I dont consider myself to be good at relating my feelings to others I am going to now try. It seems that everyone has a stuggle going on within them caused not by their love of boys but by their Christian beliefs. Some of the posts I just couldnt help laughing out loud at. For instance I read one where the person was trying to twist bible verses to show that God accepts him as a boylover. That kills me! Of course God accepts you! I think the big problem is that boylovers, who obviously care about and would never want to see a young boy hurt, also want, really, really want to have sexual contact with boys. Now, if someone tried hard enough, Im sure they could find one line in the bible that they could shape into meaning that this contact is okay. So, is that what it is? Does how a person interperates the bible dictate the set of "guidelines" he has to live by? If that is the case than someone needs to come out with a boylover version so that we can all rape boys and feel no guilt for it. The fact is that we (you) were boylovers before you were Christian. Proof being that given the choice of everlasting life with Jesus or everlasting live with all the boys in the local junior high school you would choose the latter. So rises the question of faith. It must not be strong enough. Faith in what? Eternal life where everything you ever wanted it this life is yours forever in heaven? Wouldnt that include having sex with lil' ones? Ah, but you wouldn't lust for boys in heaven because your spirit is pure! Which means that unless, in heaven, you are allowed to sleep with all of the cuties your lust for boys on earth is sinful... What a vicious circle! Im not sure what I hoped to accomplish by this. I definatly dont want anyone to question the importance of religion in thier life because of me. Maybe instead of focusing on how to be better Christians you should focus on how to be better boylovers. I came to a point in my life recently where I just didnt see the point anymore. Everything seemed like a contridiction. "God made me in his image, I long to have sex with boys, this is wrong, but God made me in his image, eternal hell for a finite wrong, why did Jesus die again?" My mind is swirling now. Space, Im just a speck of dust in infinite space, does anything really matter anyway? Sorry to be so cynical. Ive been dealing with my own boylove all my life. 27yrs. And like all of you having a predisposition for grasping a religion makes it tough to deal with. Sorry about all this. |