Re: "D" & Me
Submitted by Ben on October 17 1999 at 18:18:37
In reply to "D" & Me Submitted by Perplexed on October 15 1999 at 12:56:10
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Perplexed - I am in a very similar situation right now with the twins. In fact they have bonded to me so completely over the past few weeks, I am getting worried that THEY are actually pushing their own dad out. My church encourages people to form relationships with each other kids. As fundamentalists, we want kids to be around other Christians who can serve as good role models of Jesus. Presuming that you don't have quite so supportive an environment, I would suggest that perhaps you look for ways to show the father that you recognize your role and position in the family. If the dad is really so unemotional, then D very much needs your love and affection which he lacks from his dad. Therefore, you should see the importance of this role. But you should also encourage the dad to spend time with D. I remember once, I was going to take the twins to the local fair in town. When the dad overheard it, he asked me about the fair. It is not his style to actually spend a few hours with his boys doing that, so I said to him, "You know what they would REALLY like, even better than ME taking them, would be THEIR DAD taking them! Do you want them?" He actually took me up on it. I gave up a great Sunday with the twins, but they had important time with their dad. And, I had showed the dad, that I respect MY place and that I see the value of HIM being with his kids, even more than the value of what I do. You are not alone. Ben |