Re: That's good
Submitted by Val. on October 30 1999 at 23:23:47
In reply to That's good Submitted by Triple Q on October 30 1999 at 22:12:10
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I didn't expect to get an answer yet tonight. It's late so I will keep this short. I refer to the problem as a demon only because that's how my friend feels about it. He thinks it's the "bad" side of him in opposition to the "good" side he tries so hard to show the world. My son is now 13. There was more than one incident and we think that there were probably other boys as well. Unfortunately, my friend is in a position to always be around boys of a certain age. He is a teacher. We have talked about always putting himself at risk of constant temptation. It gives him a reason to touch them in a legitimate sort of way without anyone thinking anything amiss. It's just that he gets too close to some of them and then that's when the temptation is too great to resisit. We have talked about doing something different where he is not in constant contact with boys. Probably that is very hard for him because he truly does like teaching both boys and girls. I still don't believe he has crossed the line to pedophilia. Anyway, he thinks I should have "freaked" because then he would feel like he got the punishment he deserved. Not being a Christian, he is amazed that I still care for him and will not abandon him and even can forgive him. My son forgives him also. He apologized to my son and received my son's forgiveness. It helped tremendously, both of them I think. My son does like this man and will not shun him. I will try to get my friend online. Maybe in this unseen forum he would be able to put his thoughts out there with others who deal with the same things, I don't know. He has been alone with it for many years. I am the first person he has ever been truthful with. He is very upset that he has hurt me over this. I think he is just beginning to learn what love is all about. It isn't just that feeling he gets with the boys he is so fond of. Love is something deeper, that says, I care for you no matter what. That he is learning that from a woman whose son he touched, is something he can't believe. He is only beginning to understand that kind of love. I will not abandon or betray him. I realize there is only so much I can do to help because it just isn't my walk in life. Any ideas are appreciated and I won't be offended. Thanks. Val. |